“Few things stigmatize someone’s life and meaning as does a death by suicide,” Fr. Ron Rolheiser, OMI, wrote recently in a column titled “Suicide–Reclaiming the Memory of Our Loved One.” Fr. Rolheiser is a spiritual writer who has produced an annual column for years about suicide because, in his view, someone needs to dispel the “false perceptions” surrounding the church’s understanding of suicide.
With that in mind, Fr. Rolheiser offered this summary not long ago of the main points presented in his annual columns: “In most cases, suicide is a disease; it takes people out of life against their will; it is the emotional equivalent of a stroke, heart attack, or cancer; people who fall victim to this disease, almost invariably, are very sensitive persons who end up . . . being too bruised to be touched; those of us left behind should not spend a lot of time second-guessing, wondering whether we failed in some way; and, finally, given God’s mercy, the particular anatomy of suicide, and the sensitive souls of those who fall prey to it, we should not be unduly anxious about the eternal salvation of those who fall prey to it.”
This year, Fr. Rolheiser added a new conviction to his repertoire: those bereaved by suicide should work at “redeeming the life and memory” of the person they love who died. They should work not only to overcome the stigma, or social disgrace, that continues to surround suicide but also to restore the honor, memory, and reputation of the person who died (ronrolheiser.com. July 21, 2014).
Every year, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention holds Out of the Darkness Walks in communities across the nation to raise both money and awareness for suicide prevention, to break down stigma, and to honor those who have died. My husband and I participated in the Manassas, Virginia, Out of the Darkness Walk in October, 2013. It felt exactly right to walk as Team Mary in the company of dozens of walkers on other teams, and we plan to do so again on September 28. (Go to afsp.org for Walk information.)
Almost from the day my daughter died by intentional overdose in 1995, it was clear that I would someday work to restore her honor, memory, and reputation. My Daughter, Her Suicide, and God: A Memoir of Hope, to be published in the next few weeks, is that loving labor.
Mary's Shortcut: About Suicide Bereavement 
Hello,
Congrats on your book! I will look forward to reading it. I have followed your blog since my son Noah’s death last year and found it so insightful and helpful. I love the idea of redeeming the person’s memory and reputation; it is especially challenging, however, with young people who did not yet have a chance to make their mark on the world.
All the best on your continuing journey.
Susan
http://afterachildssuicide.blogspot.com
Hi Susan,
Thank you for your kind words; I’m so glad that a few of mine have made a difference. The most important place to redeem my daughter’s memory was in my heart and in my thinking. It has taken a very long time for that to occur, but redemption certainly can occur. And for everyone’s sake, it should.
Peace to you and yours,
Marjorie
So touched by this article. There is so much stigma attached to suicide I want to make a difference. My brother took his life 13 tears ago. On the day he died I wrote a song. A song of love and hope. I felt inspired as if God was speaking through me. I am not a professional and never done anything like it before. It has brought comfort to me, family and friends. I am sharing it now to raise awareness of suicide and have set up a justgiving page to raise money for mental health research.
My song: http://youtu.be/AY42e7ktoeU
My justgiving:https://www.justgiving.com/simon-harkin
Why am I doing it: because too many lives are lost to suicide!
Simon, thank you for the beautiful song. I watched the video, and it is, indeed, a wonderful tribute to your brother. Thanks, also, for all you’re doing on behalf of those who die by suicide.
Peace to you, Marjorie