Please meet Mary! Since 2012, I have been blogging about my daughter Mary, and now anyone who wants to know her better can do so. I’ve finally finished writing an account titled My Daughter, Her Suicide, and God: A Memoir of Hope that is now available on Amazon.com.
Over a period of some ten years beginning in 2001, I took it upon myself to delve into Mary’s death, her life, and the grief of an entire family at her passing. In truth, I was driven to explore some of the “what-if” questions and the “why” torments about which I’ve posted many times. I wanted to find out where God was in the tragedy and ultimately to figure out how to put “daughter,” “suicide,” and “God” together harmoniously in one sentence. But I always knew that the one sentence would arrive, if ever, only after several thousand other sentences.
The writing also became my attempt at mending the shattered relationship that Mary and I shared. I wanted badly to get her back in my life in a good way. Putting words on paper for more than a decade, pushing “delete” and starting over, no matter how laborious-seeming in retrospect (while never actually laborious), did deliver healing in tiny doses and slowly bring Mary back.
A few months ago in this blog, I quoted Fr. Ronald Rolheiser as saying, “Few things stigmatize someone’s life and meaning as does death by suicide” (ronrolheiser.com July 21, 2014).
My daughter’s life held and still holds great meaning, as does the life of anyone who falls victim to suicide. It has been my privilege to bear witness in a memoir to the beauty and meaning of her precious, unrepeatable life.
Mary's Shortcut: About Suicide Bereavement 
Mrs. Antus,
I recently purchased and began reading your book. I was a classmate of your daughter Mary’s at PVI and like everyone, I was shocked snd saddened by her death. The thing that has touched me the most was what you wrote about in your forward – that you cannot let Mary’s legacy be about her suicide because she was so much more than that. I did not know Mary very well and I chose to read your book to learn more about her. Thank you for writing this book so I too can know who she was and the wonderful things she did when she was alive. God bless you and your family!
Dear Erin, your gracious comments mean a great deal to me. Thank you for wanting to know more about Mary despite the pain that knowing more must bring you and others at Paul VI who were her classmates. Peace and every blessing to you, Marjorie